Possibly my self-image was incompatible with it. It wasn’t social acceptance I needed, but self-acceptance. I could tell myself I wouldn’t do it, but deep down I knew I would succumb to my dark desires. They made me feel dirty and ashamed, but horny as well. It felt degrading and naughty, yet it fulfilled some need I didn’t know I had, some identity that had been kept secret from myself. This part was very liberating and exciting. Nonetheless, when I took out or answered an ad, I felt adrenalized, even shaking. Why did I force myself to do this? If they responded, I was excited, yet terrified. If they didn’t, I felt disappointed and discouraged, but relieved. If I accepted, I would think about it all day, with a knot in my stomach. Yet, when it came time to meet, I half felt like canceling or bailing out, but did not do so. When we did meet, I was just fine, after all, I had done this before, and enjoyed it, so what’s the big deal? I decided to give it one last try, do everything,. I turned my head to see my husband. Victor was there; he made a toast to us and signaled for me I could do anything I wanted…So I stood up and invited my new black friend to join me outside; I wanted some fresh air. As we went out, I dragged him to our car parked at a darkened spot.We entered the back seat. The very second he closed the car door, he pulled down his yoga pants and let his huge black cock get loose. It sprang up so hard, that slapped his belly with a loud sound. I looked at it and came. I felt my tiny thong getting damp.A closer look showed me that it was really huge.All I had to do was slide my hand around that big cock head a few times and he was slick as could be. I worked my hand down the shaft just admiring it and getting it wet with his own pre cum.I could not even put my hand around all his girth.I bent down and licked the cockhead up and down; around and over this thick mushroom. Soon, his entire throbbing shaft was glistening in my hand…He was getting even.
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